Andrew gets confirmed this weekend. One requirement that the pastor asked the kids to do was to write a letter to someone (living or dead) who played a role on their faith journey. Andrew chose to write one to me and his best friend Aaron.
The letter to me was simple and easy for him to write (and very sweet, by the way). His letter to Aaron was hard for him to compose. He had it all in his head, but it was tied with some heavy emotions. It turns out, last summer when he and Aaron went to camp together they had many heart-to-hearts (as many as guys can have) and some about religion and spirituality. It wasn't heavy stuff, just that God has a plan for everything and everyone. Andrew told me that there was a young man there who had a physical handicap and Andrew was feeling sorry for this young man, but Aaron pointed out that the young man is perfect just as he is, because that is how God made him.
This struck an internal chord with Andrew, one I don't think (due to our conversation last week) he articulated with his friend. You see, Andrew is aware of his autism. He knows that he's "different" and he, as many young kids, is struggling with self image. That wonderful age when you wonder why you are the way you are...you know what I mean. I digress, after this conversation at camp Andrew still wasn't convinced that he, himself, isn't a "mistake". That he being autistic was a mistake and that he is "lesser than"....
Now I could go into some rant about social norms and how silly they are, but to see your child, one who struggles with expressing himself in general, completely break-down and tell me that he feels like a mistake is HEART WRENCHING. He felt that the had no purpose, that being autistic is meaningless, void of worth. How incredibly sad. I stopped him while he was talking, grabbed him by the hand and found Mies, and my parents who were visiting at the time, and had Andrew explain to all of them (people who love him and whom he loves) that he felt his being the way he was a mistake. Needless to say, we all (with tears and hugs and words of true kindness) reassured Andrew that nothing about him is a mistake, that he is perfect, just as he is and that he is loved more than he can imagine.
Now that is almost six months later (five, to be honest) I should revisit this topic with him. I do tell him that I love him (daily and then some) and I tell him how proud I am of him (again, daily and then some), but I think to just remind him that he has a purpose and that he'll find his own way in this crazy world is a good conversation to have (daily and then some).
Monday, September 30, 2013
Yes, it has been awhile...
Sorry blog, you've been neglected.
Now that we approaching the 10th month of 2013, let me tell you that our life has been something of a roller-coaster ride.
I must admit that being on my own for about 8 months (Jan. - August) was not an enjoyable experience. I missed my family on the daily (or by the second, honestly). It did allow me to focus on my new position and get a jump start on the goings-on of Grand Rapids. I was able to enroll the boys in decent schools, find a home (with the needed help of Mies and our realtor--who was the best!!), find extracurricular activities for the boys and settle in to our new city.
All while somewhat retaining my sanity (the verdict is still out on that one...)
More to come...stay tuned...
Now that we approaching the 10th month of 2013, let me tell you that our life has been something of a roller-coaster ride.
I must admit that being on my own for about 8 months (Jan. - August) was not an enjoyable experience. I missed my family on the daily (or by the second, honestly). It did allow me to focus on my new position and get a jump start on the goings-on of Grand Rapids. I was able to enroll the boys in decent schools, find a home (with the needed help of Mies and our realtor--who was the best!!), find extracurricular activities for the boys and settle in to our new city.
All while somewhat retaining my sanity (the verdict is still out on that one...)
More to come...stay tuned...
Saturday, January 12, 2013
2013....this is my thought process..hang on to your hat...
Happy New Year! Ok, so for those who aren't sure what is going on with the Martin clan this one is for you.
Several years ago, Mies and I realize that, to stay current in our careers, major changes would have to occur. There wasn't any place for professional growth in our location. Back in 2010 I enrolled in Michigan Library Association's Leadership Academy (LA) to begin my journey. While the experience wasn't earth shattering, much of it being common sense when it comes to being a "leader", it did allow me to start making contacts AND become more active in libraries on the state level. (Summary:I began networking, which is hard to do from the UP). While experiencing LA and reaching out via the state organizations I began to question where I wished to be (career wise) in the next 5 - 10 years. Now, for those who know me well, this is an impossible task. I'm not a great long term goal setter, this doesn't mean I do not set goals and am not tenacious/relentless in achieving my goals, it just means long term goals aren't my strength. While making contacts I began meeting some wonderful people who were from GVSU. I found that they were doing things, and had resources to do these things, that I had on my 5 - 10 plan. Now, I am wise enough to know that there is no utopian organization out there that will match all your ideals, but from the outside GVSU seemed to be a place I could aspire to my career goals. (I also must note that for years Mies and I said that if we ever moved back downstate it would most likely be on the west side of the LP. No offense to Lansing or the D, but that wasn't where our hearts were longing to return to.) Fast forward to last summer, Mies was tipped off about a mid-manager position with GVSU libraries that would be opening up soon. He passed this information on to me. Now, as soon as I heard this tip, my first reaction was, "I'm not going to apply. I can make my current situation work. This is not the right time to move." etc, etc. Then some things happened, career wise, which I won't mention here, but am willing to discuss privately. This inspired me, with much discussion with Mies and admittedly some thoughtful process to FINALLY apply for the position. I must admit that when I sent my application off (via interwebs) my immediate response was, " Oh Sh*t, what did I just do!!" Many times I thought to take my name out of the list, but Mies encouraged me to see what happens. Well, here is what happened....I got the job. GVSU made us an offer we couldn't refuse. But my taking the job caused some sacrifices, which we are facing as a family at this very moment.
The reality is that I would (and did) have to relocate on my own--temporarily. This may be as long as 5 more months of being down here, while my family is still in the UP. As you can imagine, this is a very hard situation for all of us, but most especially for Mies. He has the job of "holding down the fort", preparing for his comprehensive exams and other family matters. Not to mention, getting the fort ready to sell this by this March or April. This isn't to say that I'm living the life of Riley, while Mies slaves away at home. No, my task is to master my new position with different yet same responsibilities; find a school district that matches the expectations of our children and meets their needs simultaneously. Begin the new house hunt, plan for visits to UP in order to start packing our stuff and/or selling/donating things. So, I'm running logistics, while he's holding down the fort. Which should all come to an end some time this summer, when we are reunited (and it will feel so good) AND relocated.
The worst part in all of this is how much I miss my family. I just want to give my boys hugs/kisses, but instead look at and talk with them via a computer screen.
So, that is what is going on in a nutshell. Please don't comment on typos and run-ons, etc. This is more of a very poor attempt of stream of consciousness..and NO, you cannot comment on that either.
Any questions???
Several years ago, Mies and I realize that, to stay current in our careers, major changes would have to occur. There wasn't any place for professional growth in our location. Back in 2010 I enrolled in Michigan Library Association's Leadership Academy (LA) to begin my journey. While the experience wasn't earth shattering, much of it being common sense when it comes to being a "leader", it did allow me to start making contacts AND become more active in libraries on the state level. (Summary:I began networking, which is hard to do from the UP). While experiencing LA and reaching out via the state organizations I began to question where I wished to be (career wise) in the next 5 - 10 years. Now, for those who know me well, this is an impossible task. I'm not a great long term goal setter, this doesn't mean I do not set goals and am not tenacious/relentless in achieving my goals, it just means long term goals aren't my strength. While making contacts I began meeting some wonderful people who were from GVSU. I found that they were doing things, and had resources to do these things, that I had on my 5 - 10 plan. Now, I am wise enough to know that there is no utopian organization out there that will match all your ideals, but from the outside GVSU seemed to be a place I could aspire to my career goals. (I also must note that for years Mies and I said that if we ever moved back downstate it would most likely be on the west side of the LP. No offense to Lansing or the D, but that wasn't where our hearts were longing to return to.) Fast forward to last summer, Mies was tipped off about a mid-manager position with GVSU libraries that would be opening up soon. He passed this information on to me. Now, as soon as I heard this tip, my first reaction was, "I'm not going to apply. I can make my current situation work. This is not the right time to move." etc, etc. Then some things happened, career wise, which I won't mention here, but am willing to discuss privately. This inspired me, with much discussion with Mies and admittedly some thoughtful process to FINALLY apply for the position. I must admit that when I sent my application off (via interwebs) my immediate response was, " Oh Sh*t, what did I just do!!" Many times I thought to take my name out of the list, but Mies encouraged me to see what happens. Well, here is what happened....I got the job. GVSU made us an offer we couldn't refuse. But my taking the job caused some sacrifices, which we are facing as a family at this very moment.
The reality is that I would (and did) have to relocate on my own--temporarily. This may be as long as 5 more months of being down here, while my family is still in the UP. As you can imagine, this is a very hard situation for all of us, but most especially for Mies. He has the job of "holding down the fort", preparing for his comprehensive exams and other family matters. Not to mention, getting the fort ready to sell this by this March or April. This isn't to say that I'm living the life of Riley, while Mies slaves away at home. No, my task is to master my new position with different yet same responsibilities; find a school district that matches the expectations of our children and meets their needs simultaneously. Begin the new house hunt, plan for visits to UP in order to start packing our stuff and/or selling/donating things. So, I'm running logistics, while he's holding down the fort. Which should all come to an end some time this summer, when we are reunited (and it will feel so good) AND relocated.
The worst part in all of this is how much I miss my family. I just want to give my boys hugs/kisses, but instead look at and talk with them via a computer screen.
So, that is what is going on in a nutshell. Please don't comment on typos and run-ons, etc. This is more of a very poor attempt of stream of consciousness..and NO, you cannot comment on that either.
Any questions???
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