Missing...has anyone seen my library mojo?

I've been working in this field for over 12 years now and am discovering that I've completely lost focus. I could whine on about lack of funding for professional development, which impacts my ability to network, or how isolated I feel in my current work environment (and my previous job, too), BUT I cannot place blame there or anywhere, for that matter. The blame is mine. I've spent too many years just surviving life that I haven't pushed myself to actually do something about my being lost. I've focused on my spouse/children needs and have overlooked my own. This too is my fault. My husband, also a professional librarian, has tried to encourage me to go/do/join, etc, but I've been too afraid to try. To try means that I might fail, and we cannot have that, says that little voice in my head. Of course, we can, how else do we learn, but I'm so afraid of failure that I just don't do...anything. I know, it's pathetic. BUT
I'm taking the reins again. I've been accepted the Michigan Library Association's Leadership Academy. I have many thoughts about the future of libraries and our leadership. (Okay, that's one thing) I am attending the Michigan Library Assoc. Annual Meeting (kinda have to w/ academy). Plus, am thinking about going to ACRL & ALA next year, but going depends on many things. First of all, I have no funding for professional development, which is an obstacle. Not sure I could afford to pay out of my own pocket, but not saying, no.
I've been reading professional journals and publications trying to keep abreast. The difficult part of this is that I work/live in a remote area and don't have many opportunities to talk or meet with others. The few other librarians in the area have a different skill set than I do, working in more specialized areas of academic librarianship.
In addition, to feeling lost, my last 2 jobs have been in places where there is a small (or not at all) staff and the need for doing many different aspects of librarianship at the same time. Thus, making it hard for me to have a specialty in any one area. I am aware of trends in all areas, but not allowed to time to efficiently explore trends in more detail. I experience a vagueness in all areas of librarianship. A jill-of-all-trades is not necessarily the best thing, in my opinion. If I had to pinpoint my specialties, it would have to be in the areas of information literacy/instruction, collection development, access services and cataloging. But, then again, not to a point where I could walk into a managing role in a bigger institution and feel confident. Not to say that I wouldn't know how to do the job, I could, I do, but, again, in my opinion, I wouldn't be a specialist. And hoenstly, is specializing in one aspect that much of an advantage?
Maybe I need to rethink of this.
Wow, this just popped into my head. And that is where I'll end my blog for today.

Week-in-the-life-of-a-librarian

This week has been a busy one. Since I work in a small academic library, with only 1.5 FTE staff under me, I wear many hats (tech. services, access services, reference/instruction, web librarian, collection development...oh, and let's not forget all the administrative tasks)!
Currently, the part-time librarian in off, her contract is for 38 weeks per academic year. My one FTE is the library tech, and she ROCKS!
[This week in a nutshell] I've been trying to complete the library's year end report, looking at spreadsheets, and other data to see how we did this FY. So far, so good. Also, we've received several large, good condition (some new) donations that need to be cataloged and processed before the start of the fall semester. I met with the Dean of Students to schedule library tours during orientation, and will be meeting with the FYE team, English, Health Sciences, and Business School faculty to set up fall semester library instruction sessions, and (for FYE team and instructors who teach the various capstone courses) scheduling the Information Literacy Assessment survey that they need to distribute to their students. In addition to that, I need to prep for a presentation during the new faculty orientation, which is soon. Oh, I almost forgot, during "breaks", I've been prepping and finishing up syllabus for my own section of a FYE course. Lastly, working with IT, to replace older computers with newer ones, which should start happening any minute now...

All is quiet...

A bit too quiet in the library this summer. Are there summer classes in session? I guess no one needs to study or do research in the summer months.
No, I am left with some local flavor that frequent our doors. Why, do you ask, do they come here? Well, we don't have a solely public library this side of the Portage Lift Bridge that divides Houghton from Hancock and the rest of the Keweenaw. Yes, we do have a few school/public places, but their hours suck, put plainly, and most people don't feel comfortable going into a school to use a public library. I know this, I worked in one, but don't get me started on THAT nightmare! That will be another blog.
Our locals are an interesting group, they come in day-after-day, all summer (sometimes year) long and sit at the computers. There are one or two "porn-surfers" in the mix, who use the computers in the back of the library, AND sit there ALL DAY LONG!! I mean, who can look at that stuff for 8 hours straight? But god love 'em, cos apparently no one else does, or else they wouldn't be surfing for satisfaction in a private, Christian university's library, now would they.
Why they sit in here at all is beyond my level of comprehension. I mean, yes, I have to sit in front of a computer for 8 hours, but I'm working. If I had the leisure time they have, I wouldn't be inside looking at (whatever) for a full day; I'd be out enjoying life. Seriously, there is more to life than porn or social networking, or is there??